If you grew up with a narcissist as a parent, then you might be susceptible to being a victim of your resident workplace narcissist. Bear in mind that narcissists are charming, selfish, manipulative, competitive and quite likely to “bend the truth.”
- Avoid them if at all possible, or limit the time you spend with them.
- Set realistic expectations for the time you spend with them. Their main focus is them. It’s quite hard to get any attention at all for yourself.
- They can be extremely charming, but don’t make the mistake of thinking that they are your friend.
- If you have ideas for a project or solution, then focus on how it will help your narcissist colleague. Present your ideas as options rather than conclusions.
- Ensure that you have a supportive network at work, and that you don’t depend too much on your narcissistic colleague. They cannot be relied on to be supportive.
- Be polite and assertive. Aggression is likely to be met with ill temper or an angry attack.
- Don’t waste time and energy trying to change them. Maintain an emotional distance and take care of yourself.
- Have some compassion for your narcissist colleague, because their behaviour masks a very deep insecurity.
- Be aware of how nasty narcissists can be. If they can’t control you, they may well try to control how other people see you.
- If you make any agreements with them make sure that they are in writing and agreed by you both. Narcissists might suggest that they don’t remember things; sometimes that’s just dishonesty.
You might be interested in my book Raised by a Narcissist, which is about narcissistic parents and their children, available from Amazon soon. If you think your parent was a narcissist, you might also join my Facebook group Adult Children of Narcissists.